Friday, April 07, 2006

How long....

How long will it be before I can go to sleep without crying?
Before I stop imagining that I can hear her waking up?
Before a door slams and I don't want to get up to check if it woke her?
Before I can close blinds and curtains in our bedroom noisily again?
Before we open the bathroom door at night and don't close it quickly again in case the light wakes her up?
Before the emptiness in our hearts and arms goes away?
Before the sadness becomes bearable?
How long?

9 comments:

suzanne said...

I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I will keep you close to my heart.

projgen said...

May your memories of your beautiful girl bring you strength.

panamenya said...

I'm crying after reading your post. Still so sorry for what you're going through.

I don't know how long. Probably too long. Probably forever. :(

(((((HUGS)))))

Justina said...

If I could I would take away the pain you feel.If I was closer by I would give you a big hug.

Schnozz said...

I am so sorry. I've already said it, but I'll keep saying it, because I want you to know that I'm still here listening, just like so many others. My thoughts go out to you every day.

Tertia said...

it takes longer than you think you can bear, but the healing comes sooner than you hope it will.

10 days after ben died i wrote up something that when i read it now, i want to cry. it was so raw, so sore. and in it I said the same thing 'when', when will the pain stop.

but it is too soon. i know it feels like forever, and that it will take forever to heal, but it is too soon.

i am sorry my friend, i wish more than any thing that i could take away some of your pain.

life is very unfair. she should be here with you. not away in heaven. even heaven is too far.

sending you all my love

xxx

Cath said...

V,

I cannot even begin to wonder the lengths and depths of your pain. All I can do is wish you peace and send you all the love, energy and support I can. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily.

xx

Nobs said...

I can't even begin to think how difficult this must be for you (or anyone). I'm having trouble with infertility - what do you think - better to have loved and lost or not to have experienced it at all. Sometimes I think of the pain a mother must go through when losing a child, and then can't help to think, maybe better not to have loved at all. I think of you every day.

BUDDESS said...

The mere fact that you are able to write about your feelings is already a good sign. At least you are dealing with those emotions and are able to put them into words. I trust that you and your family will have the strength to see this through. I can't help but wonder how your son is coping with this. My thoughts are with you all and I pray for you every day.

 
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