Thursday, August 24, 2006

Please sign my guestbook

Who are you? I would really, really like to know who reads my blog. Even if you don't want to tell me your real name, I am interested to know why you read what I write. I never thought I would ever write stuff that other people would want to read about. But here we are. Me writing and you reading, because of one little girl who is really being missed today, 5 months after she left us physically. But I felt really close to her today, like she was here with me, almost comforting me. No tears yet for the 24th but there is still bedtime.

So please leave a comment, telling me who you are and why you read my blog. I would really like to hear from you all out there in blogland.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Happy Birthday to Kayleigh!

Congratulations to Tammy, Dave and Connor on the birth of little Courtney. She is gorgeous! I will put more pics on K.I.D.S group blog later.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Other blogs

First of all, some pictures which I modified. I removed the background and just made it all one colour. Not too shabby if I say so myself. The top picture is of Kendra at about 1 1/2 weeks old on my mom's arm. The second one is her foot with her brother's. Also taken at the same time.

I have been reading a number of blogs over lunch and in the evenings. I hope they don't mind me mentioning them here. One of my favourites is a colleague and friend of mine, Tertia. Her blog, So Close, started off as her journey through infertility and was a way to express her feelings during this time. Now, after many, many sorrows and difficult paths, she has been blessed with a gorgeous set of twins. I read her blog because she is witty, insightful and basically tells it how she sees it. If swearing offends you then don't read it, but I find it refreshing, plus there are pics of the beautiful babes in it. Tertia also suffered losses on her path to becoming a mom and it has been good to speak to someone who can identify with how I feel.

I don't know why I am so compelled to read blogs written by women who have recently lost babies, maybe it is that I can identify with how they feel. I read their blogs and think 'Yes! that is exactly how I am feeling!'. Sometimes it can be a bit depressing and make me sad, but more than that I want to see how they are doing, not because I want to read about their suffering but because I want to see how they are coping. Sometimes they will have a very sad post, sometimes negative and sometimes hopeful. I like to sometimes leave a comment in the hopes that it will help a little but I know that there is not much that does. These are the ones I read most often: (This one is a bit different as the baby is not yet born. My heart just aches for that family.)

I also read about some very special little children with special needs. I love to read about their progress and think about how Kendra would have been doing now. These are my favourites:

Then there is the world of infertility to which I have been introduced by Tertia. Although I cannot identify with these women as I fell pregnant fairly easily, I have come to understand a small part of what they go through by reading Tertia and other's blogs(and soon to read Tertia's book).

And when I need some non-child related reading:

If any of the above people should read my blog and object if I put links in on the side to yours please let me know.

I would also like to know who is reading my blog and why. But I am going to create a separate post as a guest book as I have seen some other clever bloggers do so hold on till I do that and then please tell me who you are. But not yet!! Wait!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

It's hard

It's hard to believe that a person can shed so many tears.

It's hard to believe that it's only been 4 1/2 months.

It's hard to believe that the world can continue like nothing happened.

It's hard to believe that some people expect you to 'get over it'.

It's hard to believe that I will never get over it. And I know I won't.

It's hard to believe that the world was once sunny and bright. It seems very dull now.

It's hard to believe my little angel would have been 15 months old already.

It's hard to believe she is gone.

It's just hard, that's all.
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