Monday, September 17, 2007

Sad news

Baby Chad did not make it. I cannot tell you too much more as it is not my story to tell, except that it happened on Saturday and they did get to hold him.

I cannot believe the feelings that it has brought back from last year. We were more or less expecting it even though we were all hoping against all hope that things would work out, but even so it really hit us. It was a rough weekend.

9 comments:

Catherine said...

I am so very sorry.

Beruriah said...

I am so very very sorry.

Petrusa de Koker said...

I am so very sorry. I am thinking of you all, all the time. You and Gathry must know Lucy and Mike's heart-break only too well.

Russell said...

My prayers are with all 4 of you. Stay strong.

Kerry said...

Have all of you in our prayers, knowing it must be so tough on you as well.
love and hugs

Rachel said...

Oh, I am so sorry.

Rosepetal said...

Oh, Vannessa, I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to your friends and to you.

Tina said...

I am so, so sorry... Thinking about you...and praying for some peace.

Lucy said...

Hi Vannessa, thanks so much for all your posts and prayer requests and for your support. You are truly a gem and a pillar of strength. I can only admire you!

I feel much better now that I've managed to update our blog with our story and now that I've had a chance to read your posts.

Thanks to everyone for their comments and encouraging words.

There are a few points that I would like to mention re some of the topics and comments posted...

(1) There is no right or wrong answer ... and what works for one does not necessarily work for another so please accept the below as my opinion only and it's just what worked for us.

(2) At 1st when I heard about the www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org blog and objective of taking photo's of stillborns I was a bit sceptical but I can see how this works as the pictures here are gorgeous as the babies appear to be sleeping.

However, my humble opinion of this is that it is only appropriate depending on how old your stillborn was e.g. when they are so little they may not look normal or in a natural sleep state and I wouldn't necessarily then want a picture of my stillborn. I would rather remember them as being a perfect little angel instead of perhaps having a last memory of their 'imperfections' so to speak.

We chose not to see our little stillborn twin girl who weighed less than 200g and we have no regrets. We remember her as our perfect little angel.

We do have a few pictures of her brother who was born weighing 400g but he was born alive and these are treasured pictures.

(3) Pre-eclampsia is a very serious condition which can be frustrating as one doesn't necessarily feel sick. It's quite scary now to think that I could have died! One tends to get lost in the thoughts and discussion of stillborns and keeping your baby alive but without your life even if the baby makes it, you're leaving them without a mommy... so please listen to your doctors.

(4) Luckily for us we had the chance of saving one of our babies (even if it was only for a brief period) and the way to do that was with a Cesarian section. However, if both the twins had died before birth and although the doctors would have suggested a natural / vaginal birth in this case, then I would have still had the choice of the Cesarian route and this is what I would have chosen. The recovery for a Cesarian is pretty quick nowadays and for me it would have been much less traumatic to do this than have to deliver the 2 stillborns vaginally. Just thought I would offer my opinion as I see others differ with their comments re this topic.

(5) To be pregnant and to be able to carry full term and give birth to a live and well baby is truly a blessing and a miracle. Please do not take this for granted.

 
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