Thursday, January 25, 2007

January

So far 2007 has not lived up to expectations. I won't go into all the details but I think I was expecting to feel different in the new year or something or was hoping things would go right. Well, some things are not so bad I suppose. My sister and Gathry's sister and his cousin are all getting married within the space of 2 months. Also a firend from my book club is getting married so I guess that makes it 4 weddings and a funeral. I don't mind more weddings but please no more funerals.

Speaking of which, Tuesday was very difficult. I took a tablet to calm me down beforehand but I am thinking that maybe I shouldn't have, maybe I should have let myself fall apart a little, I had very supportive friends with me. It was a beautiful service, the priest told little anecdotes and had a really good singing voice. I almost came unglued when they walked in with the coffin. So small. We all sang the song 'Jesus loves me' while they walked in. Just the first 2 verses, they go like this:
Jesus loves me! this I know,For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong;they are weak but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me!Yes, Jesus loves me!Yes, Jesus loves me!The Bible tells me so.
I thought it was perfect for a child's funeral. The tribute given by D's friend Lynet was also extremely touching. D asked her to also read out Welcome to Holland. Another tough moment.
At the end the priest took out some sort of instrument like a trumpet but not quite the same, I have no idea what it was, and played the tune to 'You raise me up'. That had us all in tears. It was so beautiful. Just like I always think of Kendra's memorial when I hear 'The Rose', I will always think of Meah when I hear that song.

We went to the house for tea afterwards and I had a chance to chat to D. She is taking it very well at the moment but as she says she is still in shock. It felet at the same time good and awful to be able to honestly say to her 'I know how you feel'. Good because she knows I mean it and I can try and help her and can understand a little, and obviously awful that we both had to go through it. This is not something you relish having in common with anyone. Anyway, I am glad I went, esp when I saw how she appreciated it. We (few ladies from the special needs group) are meeting next week with D for coffee (or something stronger if necessary). She also lives not far from where I work so I think we may go for lunch sometime too. I know I appreciated being able to talk to someone who has been through the same thing.

Anyway, some updates on my holiday. I flew to PE to fetch Branston. Shame, he was very clingy the whole week, 2,5 weeks was a long time for him to be away from his mommy. We drove through to EL with my parents to visit them there for the week. It was very nice to relax and not do too much. And, big surprise, my grandmother (dad's side) and aunt arrived out of the blue for a surprise visit. I have not seen them since I got married in 1993 so that was great. After they left I did some scrapbook shopping with my mom (spent way too much, shh dont' tell Gathry) and we spent a few days doing some scrapbooking. My mom has made the most wonderful scapbook of Kendra. I took some photos and will post some of them soon. We swapped ideas and little bits and bobs to use for our books. Hers was almost complete but then I gave her some new (well, not new, but pics she didn't have yet) photos so she will probably add some more pages.

Then we came back to our normal routine. On one hand I was glad to be back (missed hubby) but on the other it is a bit of a drag to have to start worrying about school and work and homework etc etc. Our New year's resolutions are to get organised (nowhere with that) and have some fun this year (working on that) besides trying to get fit, lose weight and all those boring things. I'll let you know how those work out.

I haven't been out to the memorial park to visit Kendra yet this year but then I don't really see it as visiting her because as her brother says she is in our hearts so we don't have to go anywhere to visit her. Out of the mouths of babes...

Oh, before I go, there was one sad moment (well more than one while scrapbooking) while we were in the scrapbook shop. There was a couple there with a little baby and while the mommy looked around the daddy and baby sat at a table to wait. When we walked past Branston started playing his hide and seek game that he used to play with Kendra. The little girl loved it, she was so cute. Branston told the man that he played this game with his sister and of course he asked how old she was. Branston had to think a bit and said 1 year old, then I told them that his sister had passed away. Just watching Branston play with the little baby made me so sad to think that he can never do that with his own little sister again. Life (or rather death) is so unfair. It really sucks.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wasn't even there to say goodbye to Meah, but was in tears just reading about it. What a beautiful, beautiful service and how apt the songs that were chosen.

Life is hard. Yours was touched by an angel.
May your 2007 be inspiring and filled with love and happiness.
kxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tertia said...

Life does suck sometimes. Really badly.

Sending you lots of love

xx

Anonymous said...

hi agian
im hoping to find out more about kendra, i dont really know wat else to say all i lost was a father not a sibling or a child but the little photos and memories are forever

jane said...

deidre you are a special mom who was chosen to take care of a precious ,special little girl like meah to whom you gave so much love and she to you.she is playing in god's beautiful garden free of pain.laughing and running without disability.she is a shining star looking down at you with love.i miss her dearly everyday but take comfort knowing that she has gone to a better place.
with love always
from her godmother.

 
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