Wednesday, June 20, 2007


We had a special needs group meeting the other night which was quite interesting. A dad of a boy, young man actually, with cerebral palsy gave us a bit of a talk about his experiences. His son is 26 now and lives in a home. The father is divorced and spoke a bit about the toll a special needs child takes on your marriage. There was lots of lively discussion and debate about putting these children into homes or not. Basically what I think it boils down to is that each family did what is right for them. For Ian's son, the home he is in is the best place for him. He is well looked after and has a degree of independence and Ian and his ex-wife (who I think is overseas at the moment) can rest easy knowing that he is happy. Sandy and her husband have kept Ryan (22 with CP) at home and have a helper to assist with looking after him. Ryan and some other youngsters with 'disabilities' have started up a bead business and are doing very well (more on that later). And that is what works for them.

I did find myself feeling a bit left out of the discussion a bit. I did not really have any questions for the guy and he kept saying I was very quiet and do I not have any questions and I just could not bring myself to say why I did not want to ask questions. Nobody had told him about Kendra. Silly how you can be perfectly fine telling people about Kendra one day and then the next keep avoiding the issue. Then the conversation went to how God only chooses special people to look after these special kids etc etc. I remember posting a poem about it once which someone read out at the meeting. The problem is that when I listen to that sort of thing the thought just keeps going around in my head 'Then why did he take her away from us so soon? Did he decide that we were not worthy parents after all? Maybe we weren't coping well enough? Why then?' I almost said it out loud too, just didn't feel like throwing a damper on things. Do I sound a bit bitter and angry? Yeah, well generally I'm not, just now and again it surfaces. Not to worry, I am fine. Am really questioning this whole God thing though. But let's not get into that right now.

We are going to visit my mom for her 60th birthday and my dad's 68th and I think they need a bit of cheering up. It is also Gathry's dad's birthday so lots of celebrations this weekend. My car has been in the garage for over a week now (yes, my new car!) with a leak from the heating/aircon system and I really hope it is fixed tomorrow else we will have a problem getting to PE and EL.

We had a meeting with Branston's principal today. He was telling us all about how they thought intervention was needed and he is sure the school can help us etc etc. Really, we have been telling them for 2 years now that something has to be done and only when we say we are taking him out of the school have they woken up. We will see what the remedial teacher has to say next term and give them till the end of the year. If they cannot help then it really will be time to move him.


kerry said...

Hi V
Have you ever thought of taking B for kinesiology. It is a very non-evasive way of finding out the root of the problem. Ok, so you are probably sure that you know what it is. Kinesiology will be able to tell you about all the unspoken emotions that B is experiencing and maybe you can start working on it from that level. I have taken Amber and been myself and found it to be very helpful. It may not help immediately with the school work, but may help him emotionally and thereby having a knock-on effect with other spheres.
If you need any other info, either google to find out more, or give me a shout. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rosepetal said...

I always think that people who talk about God's purpose or will etc. in relation to losing a child are out of order unless they know you quite well already or are a spiritual leader of your chosen religion or you specifically asked them about it. Each person has their own relation to God, or not. It really jars me when people I don't even know make some uninvited comment relating to God and death. They are comforting themselves, not comforting me.

Do I sound bitter too?

I hope B's problems get some attention from school.

Anonymous said...

What the caterpillar thinks is the end of life,
the butterfly thinks is just the beginning.
Author Unknown

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